What to Look For In a Wife

Some people believe that they will recognize the right person for them at first sight. They imagine that soft music, a slow-motion walk, and an awkward moment of direct eye contact will accompany her arrival. However, that's not usually the reality. It's essential to understand what to look for when determining if someone is the right match for you. To do this, we will examine scriptures and discuss what they say about the qualities a woman should possess to be a suitable wife. From this, we can infer whether a woman is an appropriate candidate to become a wife. Based on this discussion, I will provide you with two questions to consider before proposing.

Ephesians 5:22

²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Interpretation

Ephesians 5:22 places the wife under her husband's authority. Based on this verse, I will argue that a wife is required to submit to two authorities: first, God, and second, her husband. If a wife is not living in submission to God, she will struggle to relate to her husband or properly respect his leadership. The text clearly outlines the husband's authority and the wife's submission to it. She is to submit "as to the Lord" and "as the Church submits to Christ." This concept of submission is not mutual. Nowhere in the Bible does it describe how the husband should submit to the wife, nor does it teach that the wife is the head of the husband. Therefore, we can conclude that any woman you may consider for marriage must be able to answer at least two critical questions affirmatively.

Question one: Is she submissive to God?

This question is fundamental to a godly man's relationship with his wife. A secular woman may often be influenced by feminist and LGBTQ ideologies that conflict with God and family values. Therefore, it's crucial to determine whether she believes in, worships, and follows God.

Be cautious of women who claim to be Christians but do not reflect those beliefs in their behavior, dress, or speech. Please pay attention to women with a history of promiscuous behavior who might use their faith as a facade to conceal their past without genuine repentance. These individuals may use the name of Jesus to deceive good men into committing to them. Don’t be misled by such tactics.

However, if her actions align with her words and she genuinely professes faith in Jesus, then you have found someone special.

Question two: Can she be submissive to you?

A wife who does not submit to God will struggle to understand how to submit to her husband. Her submission may become transactional, lacking love and respect. She may view marriage as merely a partnership, potentially undermining or ignoring your role as the head of the household. In such cases, she might prioritize her job, social media, or other interests over her family. Be cautious of women who claim to be submissive but contradict their words with their actions. If she cannot submit to you, establishing a biblical family structure will be challenging.

These questions don't cover every possible aspect of human behavior, but they focus on the factors that can significantly influence your success or failure in marriage. They reveal the characteristics a man should look for in a wife. A marriage that is not centered on Christ will face challenges at every level. So, it is essential to seek a wife who possesses the right qualities and faith. A demeanor characterized by humility and a genuine belief in God will enable her to thrive as a wife who enriches her husband's life. These qualities can be assessed through the questions derived from our interpretation of Ephesians 5:22.

Man Proposing